Michael Hayne

Following an colourful group of vigilantes in an alternate cold war history, one in which Richard Nixon serves three terms, Watchmen portended intrigue from he very outset .

Dick pervaded the film–either it was swinging, well hung and blue or it was Nixon.  We are all very accustomed to the proverbial chick flick, but the dick flick?

Outside of a dangling blue phallus and somewhat contrived sex scenes, the film kept my attention with its awesome motifs and spectacular music. The fight scenes in particular were phenomenal and the graphics were equally mesmerizing. Not to incur the wrath of the perennially virginal comic book fan, but if I could be so bold I would say that Watchmen showed shades of the Dark Knight with its anarchist implications.  In sum, I would say that The Watchmen provided adequate escapism in a depressed economy.

Michael Hayne

Mickey Rourke’s acting (or heavy breathing)is what made the movie, and the camera work was certainly creditable as it followed Rourke from behind in each scene as though he were entering a screaming arena. Otherwise, it abided by a fairly simple formula. I also think the three separate plot lines could’ve been more seamlessly intertwined. I appreciate how Marissa Tomei’s character (in addition to being consistently naked) entered “normal life” just as Rourke’s character grew tired of it, casually showing how the characters beget each other. The scenes with Rourke and Evan Rachael Wood, his character’s daughter, were cliche-ridden (embittered, angry daughter tries to come to grips with her negligent father) and incomplete. And his little motivational speech at the very end didn’t seem the least bit necessary. I mean, the entire film was predicated on the fact that this hulking giant was a hopeless, brainless wash up living life through the lens of his glory days, irrespective of the present-day circumstances. Why we would need this spoon-fed to us at the very end seemed a tad bit insulting and self-possessed. But hey, anything beats seeing Slumdog Millionaire just to be hip and cool. In sum, I would say that Darren Aronofsky delivered yet another slamdunk with The Wrestler.

PS. Check out Requiem for A Dream

I just finished watching the latest Happy Madison production, ‘I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry.’  Its a funny comedy about to New York Firefighters that pretend to be gay, get married to protect one of the partners children’s benefits.

The reason is a little flimsy, but the film is funny as it walks through one stereotype after another dropping the audience into one ludicrously funny and painful situation after another.

Jessica Biel Provided a Little Gay Relief for the hetero’s that need a chick Fix

As a whole, the movie was not a funny movie, but paradoxically I laughed all the way through it.  All of those painful situations were burst out loud funny, but never really seemed to pull the movie together despite some great acting from most of the cast.

I think almost every primary and supporting character in the movie each had one or more terrific scenes that on their own were stand out performance, but something about the movie just couldn’t quite seem to pull it together for me, and maybe in an artsy fartsy way, that was the point. 

The concept wasn’t supposed to be able to hold itself together in the movie, as a hearing loomed to prove that they weren’t gay and in doing so, it kind of proved that the movie couldn’t hold itself together and in doing so the movie held itself together.

Damn, I’m so humoristically confused after that movie, that I’m going to have to sit down and watch Eddie Murphy Raw a couple times, while reading George Carlin books.

Note to self, apparently exfoliation acne treatments are gay, who knew.  Apparently also a great deal of some of my favorite music is gay also.  (well I guess I knew that all along) 

Last week, I watched Kevin Costner’s new movie that you probably haven’t heard of called Swing Vote.  It was a good little movie that I watched in a Casino using a comp’ed movie ticket.

Unless you are a Costner devotee or just love political movies, I probably wouldn’t recommend catching this at the Box Office, but I definitely would recommend watching it once it comes out on DVD, Netflix or Cable.

This is probably going to end up being one of those movies that gets played over and over again and that constantly sucks you into watching it.  Its funny, fairly well scripted and acted and everything just kind of works in the movie.  When I watched the movie, it reminded me a bit of movies like Dave, Moon Over Parador and Ground Hogs Day.  It may not be as good as those movies individually, but there is something about movies like that in which you can watch them over and over again without growing out of them, kind of like they were designed for the purpose, like one of those adjustable Stokke Tripp Trapp chairs designed to fit a person from the cradle to the grave.

I don’t know that Swing vote will fit for people from the cradle to the grave, but it might last from about 5th grade on at least.

A couple nights ago, I came across this gem of a movie, "Lord Love a Duck" with Roddy McDowall and Tuesday Weld, who looked remarkably like my daughter Zoe (or as she might when she grows up).

Now, right up front this movie is weird, in that beatnik pre-hippy kind of way that some sixties movies are weird.  Its not quite Dr. Strangelove, but it tries to be and succeeds in some ways as a comedy.

This is strange movie, but not one that is really a cult classic must see.  Its more of a cult classic that you watch once just to have the experience and then watch no more so that you don’t have to repeat the experience.  Its not one of those old movies that you wished were made after the invention of HDTV, in fact the quality on the movie reminds me of a Gilligan’s Island episode (which I think were filmed a year or two after this movie).

I watched The Kingdom on HBO the other night.  It was a very good movie and Jamie Fox did a great job in the movie as did the other actors as well.

The movie featured a fictional terrorist strike against Americans in Saudi Arabia post 9/11.  The kingdom of Saudi Arabia in the movie is even more charged dynamically in the movie than it is today, but not by much more.

The FBI is not welcome in the investigation as politically The Kingdom does not want Americans on the ground outside select areas in Saudi Arabia.  As the team arrives in Saudi Arabia their firearms, badges and passport are taken by local military police.

It is under extremely limited circumstances that a farce of an investigation takes place and only gets real when the same terrorists attempt to kidnap and kill an FBI agent just as the FBI is finally on its way to the airport to leave the country.  This kicks off a peculiarly unrealistic fire fight in the streets of a major city where the good guys are able to shoot all the bad guys despite being pinned down in something very similar to an ambush.

The terrorists apparently can carry off a precision bombing exercise, but can’t shoot straight into opposing fire.

OK, so I’m getting a little eager to see the new Batman movie.  I might even venture to the theaters for this one.  I thought that Batman Begins was an excellent movie and this one, again starring Christian Bale and the late Heath Ledger, looks and sounds like its going to be better than the rest.

I was reading this article about it today, which pretty much confirmed my impressions and I had to laugh at the ad running next to it, featuring this girl pointing at her chest.  The T-Shirt reads, I drink your milk shake and seems to have a person drinking a milkshake with a 20 foot straw or something.

I can think of a number of similar double entendres that could kick off that campaign further, things like

Can I light your candles?

or

Can I nip your buds? (You know roses)

I really regretted missing this movie when it played in the theaters.  Fortunately, it came out on DVD and we prepared to watch it on our projector with a great sound system.  This normally far exceeds the movie theater experience of anything short of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Unfortunately, this movie was a little bland to say the least.

The Egyptian themes with replica pyramids, and the slave revolt against the false god seemed like another repeat of Star Gate, including the adolescent boy who didn’t quite manage to die in this movie.

All in all, I wouldn’t even recommend watching this on DVD, unless you are the type of person to watch everything that goes through the video rental store anyway.  I’d recommend just waiting for this one to show up on HBO some day. Don’t get me wrong, its an OK story and will keep you occupied and slightly entertained, but there are too few scenes with mammoths and saber tooth tigers and too much other well just nonsense. I’d rate this much higher than watching paint dry and a little below going shopping for modern furniture But not nearly as bad as watching reality tv.

Last night watched a movie that could be referred to as a vampire movie called Perfect Creatures.  In this movie, vampires and people have learned how to live and coexist together in an alternate reality or alternate universe of a world or planet similar to Earth.  During a cloning experiment that happen in about the 17th century someone devised a way to create a perfect creature that just happen to be a vampire as we know them on Earth.  The vampires essentially became something called the brotherhood and set themselves up for were set up by the people of Earth something of a Catholic church official that helps people guide their way through life.

This actress, Saffron Burrows, provided an excellent performance as the human police officer helping to trap the renegade vampire.  Plus, she’s hot!  I doubt you’ll catch her taking hydroxycut.

Things become a bit problematic for this planet win one of those brothers were vampires becomes infected with a blood virus that essentially turns them into a crazed killer.  This leads into something of a murder mystery/chase to attempt to stop this vampire from infecting regular people as well as other vampires with the same sickness that made him crazy and ultimately leads to the downfall of this particular civilization.  Nonetheless this particular movie with really provides an interesting take on the overworked notion of what a vampire might be and provides a unique plot construct for it.  And that if you like vampire movies this is definitely going to be a good must-see movie.  There’s actually some elements that are similar to I Am Legend with Will Smith but it is definitely different enough that not everyone will make the connection.

Cast: Saffron Burrows, Dougray Scott, Leo Gregory
Director: Glenn Standring